The connection between options, decisions and happiness

FunnySalesCartoonsmortgageloan.gif?width=720&height=485There was a study I read a while back, that basically said that people with less options are happier.  They spend more time enjoying what they have instead of thinking about what they are missing.

But if you don’t dream… Then what would you look for? But at the same time, aren’t we all looking for stability? And in a way, being stable will bring some monotony, so it will be in a way like having to think of less options. Continue reading

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The first time someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM! – Maya Angelou

no really, I'm a barbie

The first time someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM! – Maya Angelou 

This is a subject that most of us seem to struggle with. VERY OFTEN!

I see it daily, and I am sure that most of you stumble upon this subject about someone, or maybe an opportunity that you knew it wasn’t what you were told, but you went ahead and did it knowing the truth about it.

I see couples that do things expecting a change in the other person, the ironic part is that the other person is also expecting the first person to change, and they start a relationship with the image they have of their partner, what they hope they will become, and not wanting to face the reality of who’s in front of them. Continue reading

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How to remain positive when you are surrounded of negativity?

 'Remember, we become what we think of most.' - 'Oh no, I'm turning into a woman.'I bet that many of you have met one of those “yes” kind of people, those that no matter what always find then glass halfway full, yep that kind of person.

No matter how important being positive is, there are times that you just don’t want to hear about it, that the last thing you need to hear is the  “be positive” speech.

I’ve had a couple of  “dark moments” in my life, those days that nothing seems to go well, that you just can’t see “the light at the end of the tunnel”. But somehow things always seem to work out, one way or another, (they always do, and sometimes not getting things to go my way is the best outcome, but being the kind of person I am, is easier to say it, than do it).

So today, when I’m living one of the happiest moments since I exist, is easy to see the glass halfway full.  Off course, this doesn’t mean I don’t have any type of worries or concerns, it just means that being in a different place in my life, is more likely to feel positive, and it allows me to see things from another place.

So, what changed?  

I would love to be available to number each and every single thing, but I don’t have the happiness map.  What I can do is tell you what I changed, and what I am still working on.

1- No matter how much I want to save the world, I can’t give what I don’t have.  

This is one of my favorite sentences. And it took a while for me to apply it.

If I don’t love my self, how can I love someone else? I adore my child, but I’m learning that if I am not ok, is difficult for him to be ok too. I adore my Raja, but if I don’t respect my self, I can’t expect him to respect me, if I don’t value who I am, how can I expect to be valued?

If you notice that you are tired, not having enough time to do your work and your shores, maybe you should reconsider running around pleasing people around you. If you are concern that they won’t like you, love you, appreciate you if you don’t, well, that brings me to point 2.

2- Filter who is allowed in your life! I mean this one, the fact that you had someone in your life for many years, it doesn’t mean is a good idea to keep them in your life.  I was married for way longer than it could possibly make sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for that experience in my life, but I learned that there are people that just plain and simple should not be in your life! If you work very hard to make their life easier, well they can do the same for you, and this means that they have to understand that you can’t make everything all the time. That you will have better days than others, and they will be ok with it.

Also, is important to consider that we all bring something into a relationship, we all have a purpose and a reason to be at that place at that time. But you need to learn to move on, and finish AND CLOSE chapters in your life. This include getting away from some people.

3- Learn to say NO! You can’t always say yes, there will be times that you will have to play the villain, learn quickly that this is OK, you can’t always be the hero. And sometimes no matter what you do, you will end up being the “evil one”. Hey villains sometimes have more fun! so look at the positive side and learn from it.

4- Take a chance and live! Changes are always scary! No matter what there is always that fear of the unknown, the fear of loosing, of getting hurt. Keep in mind that change is always constant, it will happen whether you want it or not, because you can’t help it! Change is inevitable!

So what’s better for you, to jump or to be pushed?

I’ve done both, some of the times I’ve been so terrified that I needed the push, the problem with that is that is unexpected and you are not really sure how to land, sometimes you will figure out the landing while you are falling, other times you just fall, and hurt your self. So try to jump on your own every once in a while.  Now I’m not saying to go crazy, sell everything and go backpacking around the world (unless you have no obligations and you can actually do it, then GO AHEAD), I really don’t want to get a letter from your kids telling me how they are homeless and starving because their parents are backpacking around the world and left them behind.  But I am sure you get my point, we all have the choice of changing our careers, the city where we live, the food we eat (this coming from someone that can have the same thing for lunch every single day… I actually used to eat the exact same thing while I was working at an office), but then you try new things and find a new favorite thing, read something you Would never pick on your own.  I used to tease my sister because she reads fantasy books (this is her blog in case you need some suggestions on where to start http://thebookaholiccat.blogspot.com), until she gave me the first series, needless to say, now I am a big fan of a couple of series and is my favorite way to have “ME” time! And talking about Me time…

5- Me Time, Most of us grew up in a “don’t be selfish kind of teaching”, I grew up in a catholic family and school, and the first things they show is how people that suffer in life go to heaven, how a lot of things that are normal are bad and bring you away from heaven.  Well, as you provably guess by now, I started asking questions, became my religion teacher’s worst nightmare, and I am not longer Catholic. I couldn’t understand a God that wanted me to be miserable so others could be happy, wasn’t I condemning them to hell? Heck I was enabling them to be self centered and Happy!!! And to top it all,  wasn’t I condemning my self as well? Then they whole thing of doing things that were wrong, confessing, praying and voila! I was “clean of sin,” everything as long as I didn’t think about me, definitely didn’t go with my way of looking at the world.

Where did this get me to? I still struggle to buy things for me, but if they are for anyone else then it makes sense, if I am sick I still have to meet the expectation of others, and taking time to do something that is just for me! That was Ludicrous! But guess what? Madness is necessary, so take time for you, to do something YOU like. It could be going to the beach, going hiking, reading, cooking, eating, what ever it is. You need and deserve your time.

6- Find a way to make your dreams come true! I’ve wanted to be a writer since I can remember, I don’t even know if I have the talent, but I enjoy it.  And I am still working on my book, I am planing to self publish, if I don’t find someone to do it.

7- Don’t limit your possibilities I know I’ve said this many times, but you are the biggest enemy you can possibly have! Sometimes (most of the times) we sabotage our life’s. We seem to depend in all the wrong people, find the job that will not allow us to do anything we like, eat the foods that don’t agree with our bodies (example, I love chocolate but I am allergic, my hips tend to swell, well and other body parts), is like we like to get punished, and being “the victim”.  This is actually a real thing, is called the victim syndrome, and is a mental disorder, that people seek attention by portraying themselves as victims.  The issue with this is that people will feel sorry for you, and will give you attention for all the wrong reasons, until they grow tired of you and you are left alone. So don’t limit your chances.

8- Accept who you are and live with it! We are capable of modifying behaviors, but not who we are (This is why you shouldn’t be with someone, and expect that person to stop being who they are). You can pretend to be someone else for a long period of time, but eventually you have to let your true self come out.  Is true, a lot of people will not agree with you, a lot of people might kick you out of their life, plenty more will ask you what happened to you and why you changed so much.  But they ones that really matter will learn to appreciate you, and new people will come in to your life! People that actually matter in a positive way, people that will help you grow and become who you were meant to be since you were born, and happiness will come!

9- Let happiness be part of your life If you are a reality TV, soap opera, sad movie, upsetting documentary, news cast, etc. junky.  STOP!!!! Is like being afraid of the dark, of monsters in the closet or under your bed and watching a very scary movie before going to bed! This is harmful! There are studies to prove this.  Putting your body under the stress of watching this shows is like you were living them, you will have the same chemical reaction, because all your body does is react to how you are feeling.  If you feel bad for a character you will end up sad and thinking about it.

Give a try to funny movies, ignore the news for a little, (don’t get completely closed to news, I don’t want you going to the ocean when a hurricane is coming, or walking into a shooting because you didn’t know what was going on.  This is not a good way to get famous! Don’t do it!)

try to read only the comics, but the funny ones, get away from all realities that are not so real. If you spend 5 minutes thinking about it, you will notice that NOTHING or most things don’t apply at all to your life! It will steal  time that you can invest in your self.

10- Being Positive doesn’t mean that you will be the “yes” person; is being patient, proactive, is to dream and work to make your dream a reality. Is not being a cheerleader at all times, is actually simple! Is trusting that things will happen, they might not happen at the exact moment you want, but that things will happen and they will happen, they might not be how you want them, but they will work for the best, see everything as a learning opportunity, jump into things that make your heart beat faster (not in front of a speeding vehicle, or anything else that can kill you, like a Lion, Tiger, Etc. Please!)

Being positive and happy go hand in hand and ONLY YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW TO FEEL AND WHO TO BE.

So give it a try!

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When Life Gives You Lemons… Learn How to Make a Margarita!

social_media_icons_spiritsIf you follow my blog, you must have noticed that I’ve been MIA for a while.

Well, I am all for opportunities, and an opportunity I got!

I’ve been connected to the Network Marketing industry for a while, been dealing with the ups and downs that come with it, and I’ve truly enjoyed the experiences this has brought me.

Now, I got the golden ticket! I truly feel as if I was part of Charlie and the chocolate factory, and I got the one with the golden ticket.

The company I’ve been part of for several years decided to expand to a broader market. They are a leading company for nutritional supplements, that if we are realistic, you don’t appreciate until your health is less than great, and that is when you start to look on how to make things right. (Like we do in most of our aspects in our lives, like a relationship, finances, education, etc. We don’t really pay attention until we get a blow in the head, or something serios enough to get our attention).

So they came up with a brand new company! They created energy drinks in powder form, so it’s easier to take them along.  Besides creating a company that goes against all what was known about MLM, they made sure to eliminate any and all possible objections.

If you want to start your own business and the path for financial freedom, but you don’t have the money to do it. No problem, they will let you start for FREE!  all you need is to want to work and move forward.

You can’t wait to be paid.  Fixed they will pay you immediately right after you make a sale.

“I hate to talk to people, I am not good at selling anything”, Well here is an interesting way to show how we are our worst enemies! if I ask you what’s your favorite restaurant, movie, book, car, etc. I am pretty sure that you will have something to recommend, you will share your point of view and your experience. In other words… You will be selling me what ever product comes to the case. Therefore everyone has a sales person inside.

You sell your self when you go to a job interview, when you meet a new person, when you find the love of your life, you sell your self as different characters, like being a parent, friend, son/daughter, a professional, etc.  Everything in life is a way of selling something, the only difference is that you have monetary compensation in a couple of them.

All of us spend a good portion of our lives checking out some, or several social media sites, no matter how much we refuse to be part of it, there we are.  At any given time, we’ve been part of sharing our issues, our happy moments, our sad moments, or it’s been a way to vent (I love twitter to do any type of complain when it involves a big business, like my cable company), but no matter what, we are addicted to it. So what if you take this “addiction” and make it work for you? That’s another important angle that they addressed, being able to use social media to promote our products, and reach millions instead of having to go one by one. Besides after they try it they are hooked on it.

And having and amazing product doesn’t hurt.

To top it all, I am opening the Hispanic Market! Talking about an opportunity, right?

Now after reading all of this, there will be a couple of possible reactions:

1- This is too good to be true, so it is easier to ignore it and think that it really couldn’t make a difference in your life

2- Where can I find more information about it? But at the end you don’t want to put in the effort.  Well, is always easier to just complain about how much your life sucks and how little it changes, but you are not willing to go the extra mile.

3- You look at this information and realize that the only thing you have to “loose” by giving it a try, is the uncertainty of where you are going to find the opportunity to create a secure financial future.

So If you want more information go to:

www.ditchthecan.com/queenlatina 

www.tiralalata.com (Spanish)

If you speak spanish and want to be part of my team, contact me at info@tiralalata.com

Posted in Career, Family, life, Moving Forward, On a lighter Note, Opportunity, Options, Personal Growth | Comments Off on When Life Gives You Lemons… Learn How to Make a Margarita!

Something to think about…

Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001One of the things I dislike the most in life is to talk about politics, it’s very difficult to share the same opinion when it involves a lot of people, but there are things that just get you.

I was reading a story about EBT (food stamps) card holders that ransacked a couple of Walmart stores.   This is something that gives me mixed feelings.

In this era of “political correctness” is difficult to not be afraid to express what you truly believe, but sometimes you just have to say something.

We are going thru a time that we are not sure what’s going to happen to our country (USA), some of our government is still “Shut down”, basically people that work for a living are scratching their heads, trying to keep their cool and working on figure out how they are going to pay for their bills.   I try not to focus too much on the news, I find it depressing, contradicting, and just plain and simple, frustrating.

As we were talking last night over dinner, my son was telling me that it might not be so bad to have a full shut down, I mean chaos will surely happen, but it might be what we need for many people to react and get a grip on their lives.  It is scary to think that he’ll be soon going to college, and that by the time he graduates, well, by then, who knows what kind of world will be waiting for him to start his life as an adult.  We talked about different possibilities (speculation and hypothesis, that’s all we have right now), how you can strive even in very harsh conditions, but it seems that people care less and less.  We are distracted by buying a bigger TV, a car with more gadgets, a phone that allows us to use our heads even less.  We start the week looking forward for the weekend.  By the time it arrives we are too tired to do anything, and the main thing we do is shop for stuff that we don’t really need.  I am moving to a smaller place, and it’s been a liberating experience! I am giving away 85% of my “stuff”, literally keeping what I really have a use for, and it’s been crazy to see all the junk that we keep for emotional attachment, for what if I ever need it (best part is that when you need it you won’t find it, or it will be damage for being in storage for so long), because I paid a lot for what ever that thing is (well idiot me for overpaying for stuff, but if you think about it, this is for sure a very stupid reason to keep something).

Anyway back to the EBT story. EBT cards (food stamps) accounting system was down for a couple of hours, and this turned into a ransack at several Walmart stores.  People that had $0.40 left in their cards were available to “buy”, or let’s say get, $700 worth of food. When I first read it I was like, well maybe this people had the need for the food they were getting. I’ve had my moments of struggle that I wasn’t sure where was I going to get enough money for food, or how I was going to be available to feed my  son.  I’ve never been in any of the Government programs for assistance, even when I was going thru a really, really, really bad time in my life. I was working, I worked in everything that came my way (construction, cleaning, as a mover… You name it), but even then I didn’t “qualify” for help, and I know the feeling that anything that gives you a break is very much welcome.

The part that got me was looking at the shopping carts this people were dragging, their contents were potatoe chips, sodas, cereals, in other words… junk food! then this same people that needed this assistance to “feed their kids” were taking videos with their phones, and not cheap phones, they have smart phones. Then you look at their nails, and 90% of the women have their nails done. I know some people are talented, and they can do their own nails (I attempt to do so, and my fingers look beautiful… Yes! I go the extra mile and paint my fingers too. I could be so talented sometimes), but this are acrylic nails, that are professionally made, and even if they do it themselves, well that is not a priority for someone that “can’t feed their family”. Then you start to do some research and find out that there are even fast food restaurants that accept EBT as a form of payment.  Now work with me for a second.  An average meal in a fast food restaurant for four people is no less than $20 to $25, and this is getting all small sizes.  When you are struggling you can make at least a whole day of food with that amount, meaning that if I am really in need I try to stretch the last penny.  Eating out is a luxury you just can’t afford if you are in a difficult time, right?

So the point my “friend” (the one who posted this article) expressed that really hit me hard was this:  What would happen if the government really shuts down, as an no more welfare checks going out? What would happen then? I mean, none of this people that depend on it are working, meaning they don’t have a lot of experience and probably have not developed a lot of skills, because well they are on welfare and don’t need it. (IMPORTANT NOTE! I AM NOT SAYING THAT EVERYONE ON WELFARE IS THE SAME! I know a lot of hard working people that need the little push, a little breathing space this allows them to have, and that as soon as they are back in track, move forward and stop receiving benefits, as well that I’ve seen hard working people that for something as ridiculous as extra $200 A YEAR, don’t qualify for medical insurance for their kids, but they expect you to cover the insurance with the $200).

One irony I find is that if you are illegal in this country, and you have an emergency, you don’t pay anything! there is a medicaid for illegal immigrants.  But if you work and pay your taxes and have the same kind of emergency, be ready to pay, even if you have to get another job to do so! because they will make you pay even for the things that were not even related to your emergency, but that were done anyway to prevent a “malpractice suit”.  Now let’s imagine that all this “help” is gone! no more food stamps (EBT cards), no more I’ll support your kids even if you have them by the dozen and keep on having more knowing that you can’t even support one, no more move into this country and we’ll support you for the first two years (yep! housing is cover, food, education, cash assistance, depending on where you are coming from this benefits apply), no more get on section 8 to live a single family home with a pool, no more free cellphones with data plan, or make this phones only for emergency calls, (just works for 911), no more anything.

What would all this people do? the ones that have way to many kids, the ones that have never worked, because they were “disable” since they turned 18.  I don’t know about you guys, but this is a very, very scary thought.  Crime rates will definitely go up, for sure the level of honesty here is very low.  I know that they have to fill this applications a “certain way”, they know someone that knows someone and that is how they get the benefits.  How many are addicted to illegal substances, their health is less than ideal (look at what they are feeding their families) because they have medical insurance, and if they are not doing well… They can claim something else.

What about the people that really need it? What about the people that worked all their lives that are now 80 years old and all they have is their social security check.  What about our kids that will have to pay for it, but will never be available to see a penny of it.

This is scary, and concerning.  And the worst part is that we don’t feel we can do anything because we are afraid of “offending” someone, because we are so busy trying to be politically correct that we forget to do what is right.

We are facing a real crisis, and not just in this country.  I am sure I am not the only one that wants a better future for my kid, but I also want him to know that you have to work for what you have, that things take time to be accomplished, that things are possible, but they won’t come falling from the sky.

There are so many bright minds out there, we should all try to find a solution for this, create some level of consciousness among us and our kids, and see if we can have this country survive, because if we go down, we are taking the world with us.

Posted in Things I don' get | Comments Off on Something to think about…

When you say instability I say opportunity to do what you’ve been dreaming (part IV)

Disney-MonopolyThis is my final post in this subject.  So for those of you who made your homework:

I am sure that this list were not an easy task, specially if you are living a “difficult” time.  This are the moments when you need to see the best in you, but it will be the most difficult.  This are the time when you really need to hold on to your support system with all you have.  The adventure is about to begin! It’s up to you on how far you want to go.

Let’s start with some inspiration:  “We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds. – Aristotle Onassis”

For those who are not familiar with Mr. Onassis story, I would encourage you to do so, you can see that a lot of people that are successful now were not so “lucky” in their earlier life, He didn’t have it “easy” (if you need another example, check Oprah’s story. This is a woman I admire from the bottom of my heart, she was available to overcome things that most wouldn’t even dream of doing, she had everything against her.  She came from a family that didn’t have a lot of resources to say it in a kind way.  Her grandmother used to work cleaning, and she was being raised to do the same, on top of that being a woman didn’t help (I mean women and power did not belong in the same sentence, till fairly recently), and if you want to top it of she is African American, so if you have doubts about your possibilities, just think about this people).

“Nothing will work unless you do” – Maya Angelou

So back to our lists.  The first one was about what makes you special, what your qualities are and the second was about the things you like to do.

Now the first and most difficult thing you will need to do is learn that you can, actually that you should be happy doing what you do every single day. That they choice you make of how you earn your living should bring joy in your life, that you deserve it and that is possible!

So let’s work on some examples that hopefully will help you:

If you love to travel, research, take pictures, get dirty, you like to know where we come from.  Well there are a couple of careers that have all of this: Historian, Archeologist, Landscaping photographer, blogger, travel critic, merchant (trader), just to name a few.

If you love to be at home, stay in your pj’s and have your own schedule: There are a lot of companies that offer the option to work from home, you can do customer service, telemarketing (I know this is a low blow, that the people that drive us crazy could actually be in their pajamas sipping freshly made coffee while they pet their cats), there are a lot of careers that offer freelance work, for example: Web development, Design, media and Architecture, Data Entry, Sales and Marketing, accounting, human resources, personal assistant, translator, tutoring, just to name a few.

As examples I gave before, if you suffer from some kind of OCD, you can use it to your advantage and work as a professional organizer, you can teach people how to arrange things around the house, in their offices, or in their lives in general.

If you love to communicate, you can find a spot on the radio, create your own YouTube channel, have podcast, and all of this is free.  You can also join an MLM business (be careful on this one, do your homework, find about the company, for how long it’s been in the market, quality of products, representation, what they require you to invest, etc.), right now MLM is a good option for people that like to invest in their dreams, that are not shy, that love to communicate, and to be successful, that they believe in the company and their products.

Just keep in mind that no matter what you have in the list, that will make you special, that what you have to offer is worth it, someone is looking for someone like you and is willing to pay for it.

So just dare to be who you are, be happy and take this “crisis” as a propeller for your dreams.

Note:  I picked the Disney edition, because of Walt Disney… Another inspiring story.

For part ONE, TWO And THREE

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